The Zombie Blog

Zombie in a Penguin Suit

2011-10-19T20:20:00.000+09:00

Zombie Meal Time - Epic Meal Time

2011-09-21T16:05:00.000+09:00

Nazi Zombies

2011-05-01T13:24:00.000+09:00

Japanese Study Links

Rogue Survivor - Episode 1 (Good Morning Hubert)

2011-01-16T23:04:00.001+09:00

Obama vs the Zombies

2010-11-08T20:22:00.001+09:00

Click the image to go to the artist's blog and see it in full size!

Cute Zombie Toys

2010-11-06T12:28:00.000+09:00

Was looking for a certain shirt. Didn't find it. Found a brain and these:

Congress Considering Classified Zombie Bill

2010-07-21T23:26:00.000+09:00

Musical of the Living Dead

2010-06-10T06:26:00.000+09:00

Zombie Majority

2010-05-10T01:23:00.001+09:00

Zombie Audio Play

2009-12-07T16:15:00.001+09:00

From the mailbox:

I hope this will interest you:
I have a zombie-themed audio drama coming out next week. Cuz nothing says happy holidays quite like the walking dead!
8)
Of course, it is told from the zombie point of view.... It guest stars Brother D and Miss Bren of Mail Order Zombie - as zombies in love. Soooo cute!

PLUS - we have awesome cover art. Check it out at http://www.19nocturneboulevard.net/episode pages/Gift of the Zombi.htm
8)
Have a great day!

So if you have time to listen to the moans of the damned in love...

Cracked Guide to Zombie Survival

2009-12-02T14:47:00.001+09:00

Cracked is my crack. View their extensive zombie article here.

jewel wasps create roach zombies

2009-11-30T14:41:00.002+09:00

People Getting Punched

2009-11-24T16:35:00.002+09:00

Ya gotta wait for the zombies

Guns 'n Gardens - How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

2009-11-20T12:41:00.002+09:00

Army of Darkness: Obama Version

2009-11-18T16:04:00.003+09:00

Not much to say except: This. Actually. Exists.

Greased Lightbox

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Infestation (2009) HQ trailer

2009-11-17T14:39:00.002+09:00

Watched it last night. Recommended!
The hybrids totally count as zombies

ZomboMania: The History Of The Zombie Movie #27

2009-11-17T14:38:00.002+09:00

Some good scenes. I feel sorry for the followers of this blog, so I will occasionally post things from now on.

Zombie Bank

2009-06-01T14:14:00.001+09:00

15 days till the world ends

2007-05-29T09:30:00.000+09:00

Details.
So on June 13th, check out the blogosphere for posts about the zombie hoards showing up in normal blogger's lives. Everyone will be posting that way that day, in a nice mock mass fiction game.

Babylon Fields, Upcoming CBS Zombie Series

2007-05-01T20:54:00.000+09:00

A pilot episode for a zombie tv series. See pics here.

zombie game

2007-04-28T00:56:00.000+09:00

Here.
Manage your resources by day, fight the hoards by night.

Dead blogs come back

2007-01-08T16:10:00.000+09:00

For today at least. Enjoy the zombie jamboree.

Daily YTMND: Chip of the Dead

2006-11-21T22:08:00.000+09:00

Go, enjoy. Get off my lawn.

Zombie strategy game

2006-11-03T11:05:00.000+09:00

And it is available for mac or windows. Download now. I'll eat your flesh there!

2006-10-28T16:53:00.000+09:00

Zombie song contest; moaning not requisit

2006-10-25T18:54:00.000+09:00

Check out this contest to find the best zombie song of all time. Submit your entries folks. I can't believe the song from "they hunger" wasn't submitted yet.

Tarman handbag

2006-10-24T19:59:00.000+09:00

And many more monster-bag comparisions to be found at this site.

devilishly hot

2006-10-22T16:04:00.000+09:00

Need something spicy for your halloween party? This stuff looks good.

They said it couldn’t be done! (Actually, they said it shouldn’t be done.) But, I’ve done it anyway! I’ve combined flesh-eating zombies with spicy food products to create zombie themed hot sauce for your Halloween party or other creepy event!

Armadeaddon

2006-10-19T22:08:00.000+09:00

Penny arcade did the whole zombie thing a short while back. Check it out.

dance like a zombie

2006-10-19T00:09:00.000+09:00

Just somethin I found in the blogosphere you may like.

Bollywood Thriller

2006-10-05T12:39:00.000+09:00

Zombie car wash

2006-10-05T09:01:00.000+09:00

Check out this sweet music video, with zombie carwash babes.

Punk Zombies

2006-09-21T10:08:00.000+09:00

It almost feels like getting an excusive or something...
I was contacted by the makers of the film Queen of the Zombie Punks, which is currently in development. Here's their pitch:

"A generation ago, a voodoo curse took the souls of THE GRAVE DIGGERS... now they're back to rock your face off... AND EAT YOUR BRAINS!"

A new zombie movie brought to you by Michael Patrick Entertainment.

Producer Michael Patrick and Director Rob Toshoff are set to co-produce a new Zombie Horror feature film project scheduled for pre production in Sept 2006. It's the tale a deceased punk band from the 1980's who return from the grave to fulfill their rock star aspirations! With the combined efforts of both companies, QZP has assembled a fantastic group of industry professionals. Casting will commence Shortly, Website launching soon! Stay tuned!

http://www.michaelpatrickentertainment.com

http://www.myspace.com/queenofthezombiepunks

Sounds like a fun zombie bash; I wonder if it'll come my way...

First annual Portland zombie kickball

2006-09-05T21:03:00.000+09:00

Bikinis and zombies mix well

2006-09-03T19:28:00.000+09:00

More here

free zombie simulation game developed

2006-09-03T19:18:00.000+09:00

details here.

Final Fantasy's Cast Does Michael Jackson's Thriller

2006-09-03T19:13:00.000+09:00

shake it

2006-09-03T18:57:00.000+09:00

Shotgun Chuck vs. Zombie Lee: who ya got?

2006-08-31T01:10:00.000+09:00

Another useless net thingy

2006-08-19T23:07:00.000+09:00

Zombie Letters from e-zombie.com

Dead Rising

2006-08-01T12:35:00.000+09:00

This guy has the best moves I've seen since the Evil Dead series.

overtime

2006-07-30T02:57:00.000+09:00

Evil Dead Musical

2006-07-26T16:57:00.000+09:00

From Empire:

It’s now official: any film can become a musical. In this day and age, when the likes of Legally Blonde and The Lord Of The Rings are going tuneful, it should come as no surprise that The Evil Dead is the latest to make it to the stage.

Evil Dead: The Musical will arrive in New York in October, having already been work shopped in Toronto and Montreal. Created by George Reinblatt, Christopher Bond, Melissa Morris and Frank Cipolla, the show will be co-directed by Hinton Battle, best known to TV viewers as Sweet, the demon from Buffy’s musical episode.

The plot roughly follows the film’s story, but focuses on a group of friends – instead of just Ash – who unleash the evil at the secluded woods cabin. And in keeping with the movie’s popcorn status, the musical will play at 11pm on Friday and Saturday nights, with the first few rows labelled the Splatter Zone - from where there will doubtless be an opening night report from Empire's Chris Hewitt.

Hey, I made a post. Happy? I'm not; Linus found it and therefore should have wrote it. Just kidding.

Particle man

2006-06-30T23:24:00.000+09:00

Your daily YTMND

Dead head fred

2006-06-23T20:42:00.000+09:00

sneeze

2006-06-08T11:13:00.000+09:00

Thanks to Mandy, and of course voices in my hand.

Gorillaz doing Day of the Dead

2006-06-03T15:39:00.000+09:00

Make your own zombie mug

2006-05-22T23:00:00.000+09:00

Well, maybe you can do a better job than this guy. But in any case this is a good guide to getting started on the road to zombie stardom. It's a guide to using liquid latex and uh... crumbs to become one of the undead, sans death of course.

YTMND of the Day: Shawn of the Dead, oldschool style

2006-05-17T22:22:00.000+09:00

Witness what Shawn of the Dead would be like if it was rendered on a Commodore 64. Ah, I have fond memories of the Commodore 64. Hours of playing some helecopter game called apocalypse, spelling wizard, and BC Racers. And there was the magical day I discovered that if you turn the joystick on it's side, it compensated by switching right to up or whatever. You had to be there. The 80s that is.

Trailer Tuesday: Boy Eats Girl

2006-05-16T22:26:00.000+09:00

Foto Frieday

2006-05-13T13:13:00.000+09:00

This photo comes to you courtesy of a show in Moscow, all about the dangers of zombies. Or maybe it was drugs. Either way...
Actually, the disintegration of a person becoming an addict looks very similar to zombification. Check it out.

YTMND of the day: And then Jon was a zombie

2006-05-12T16:47:00.000+09:00

I'm adding a new feature, since I keep seeing great hilarious content on YTMND.com. So enjoy the Doom Fan Fic.

Guillermo del Toro's making a zombie game

2006-05-10T01:39:00.000+09:00

The fat boy behind Hellboy and Blade is moving into the videogame market. Kotaku tells a little about it:

Details are scanty, but the game will be called Sundown, despite the fact that it is about zombies and not vampires. The brief description over at the Hollywood Reporter notes that players "will have to survive an apocalypse that leaves a world infected with zombies and other potentially fatal horrors."

.
Can it compete with the Resident series?

Zombie activists come out in protest of immigration reform

2006-05-07T18:45:00.000+09:00

"Urr... urgle!" said one protester in his native language. Zombies all over Sydney protested the unfair treatment of their kind this week.
One spokesman for undead rights stated, "These people are just trying to live their unlives like the rest of us, so that they can bring home brains to their children. Shame on Australia for being so closed minded. You can see more pictures of the protest here.

I love zombie comics

2006-05-07T14:01:00.000+09:00

Nostalgia month!

2006-05-02T23:09:00.000+09:00

This month's shambling theme shall be Zombie Nostalgia.
To get us started, I provide you with a track from an old LP. I remember being a kid and thinking that this sort of thing was actually scary. I was obsessed with monsters as a kid, and made it my offical duty to hunt them. I distinctively remember one crushing day when my best friend told me he no longer believed in monsters, because they were just imaginary. Anyways, thinking back on the kid I was, it's not really suprising I moderate The Zombie Blog these days.
Enjoy a tale of a giant zombie servant from Terror Tales, digitized thanks to this guy.

uploaded just for you

2006-04-24T23:53:00.000+09:00

Part 1 of the previously mentioned pirate baby action, uploaded for those of you that can't wait for high quality (i.e. something you download). I'm sure you're resourceful enough to click on the video and find part 2, which I also uploaded to youtube.

Pirate Baby's Cabana Battle Street Fight 2006

2006-04-23T05:19:00.000+09:00

Alright, you have to see this animation. It's about the coolest thing ever. The Big Lebowski super move alone makes this faux-zombie killing game movie worth seeing. Go here, and download it!

Freaky Foto Fri

2006-04-22T12:19:00.000+09:00

The worth1000 celebrity zombies helped me to find some good ideas when I photoshopped me and my friends into the banner of this blog.

From Charlie White

2006-04-20T20:33:00.000+09:00

Charlie White is a guy that has haunted my dreams since before I figured out who he is. Specifically, I am talking about a picture of his I found that so confused me, I made this. Well, I found his page, saw the answer (sort of) to the mystery, and found this:
Also, this video he made was enough to creep out this hardened zombie fan.

I hope they eat you first

2006-04-16T22:44:00.000+09:00

Giving leather-jacket-wearing zombie hunters a bad name. From this ytmnd. Also, kids love zombies.

Zombie proof housing

2006-04-14T00:01:00.000+09:00

Just pull up the ladder and you're safe. Maybe even set up a special harpoon system to gather food/defense. Just make sure you don't get your harpoons mixed up and spread infectious agents. Ultimate tree house.

Best Ebay auction. Ever.

2006-04-11T01:55:00.000+09:00

Who wouldn't want an authentic vampire hunting kit? Too bad it's already been sold, but still, go look!

Photo Friday: bittersweet

2006-04-08T21:22:00.000+09:00

Raise your own undead army

2006-03-30T00:47:00.000+09:00

Yes, instructions to make the necronomicon and more at Raven's blight. They've got tons of undead projects ready to print out. What nice ghouls.

I also recommend browsing their arcade

Cutethulhu

2006-03-28T23:26:00.000+09:00

First, I don't think you'll find a more apt study than K's last post there. Second, enjoy a cute cthulhu and an undead Lovecraft.

Lovecraft's Reanimator: The Foretelling of a Sub-Genre

2006-03-27T00:57:00.000+09:00

My embarrassing horror-geek confession to you, dear reader, is that I have never really read Lovecraft. I know, I know. It goes against everything logical. I’m supposed to be a huge fan of King, possibly a loyal fan of Barker, and most certainly an obsessive Lovecraft fan—an obsession I should have started cultivating since at least junior high. I actually knew this at about that time, and I gave Lovecraft a shot. Whatever the reason, he didn’t take, and I didn’t pick him up again until a couple of years later, when I was turned on to the Herbert West – Reanimator stories. I don’t recall what my reaction was at the time was, except that I, of course, loved the movie. I’m happy to say that this month’s topic here at The Zombie Blog has prompted me to re-read the stories. I couldn’t be happier with the timing; after years of loving and getting to thoroughly know the zombie sub-genre, and having been around long enough to witness certain arcs and dips in its history, I’m glad to have this perspective when re-evaluating these stories anew.

The Herbert West – Reanimator stories were originally published in 1922, in Homebrew magazine, under the title of “Grewsome Tales.” Seabrook’s The Magic Island was still seven years away from introducing the Haitian zombie to Hollywood in 1929, and White Zombie was still ten years away from introducing this same zombie type to filmic audiences. This is extremely interesting in the sense that, I believe, after reading Lovecraft’s undead contribution, these six stories indeed encapsulate the entire history of the zombie film sub-genre—from their humble beginnings right up to the very present. They even usurp Mr. Romero of the much-claimed title of the man who introduced cannibalism to the zombie mythos.

In Story I, From the Dark, the quivering, screaming result of West’s scientific trial exhibits only rudimentary memory—and not even of its past life. West and his assistant, the narrator (whose name we never know, but who we come to know as Dan Cain in the films), undertake the reanimating experiment, and it ends in what they perceive as failure. When they go to another room of their secluded farmhouse to concoct another batch of the reanimating fluid (assumed to be faulty), a ghastly scream is heard, which frightens them into abandoning the farmhouse. The following day, they read in the paper, in two separate articles, that the farmhouse had been burnt to the ground and the grave out of which they retrieved the poor soul bore evidence of a failed attempted to crawl back in. Who knows how the farmhouse burnt down, but the fact that this monster obviously tried to find its way back into its own grave leads one to believe that it retained some kind of memory. It’s true that there’s no logical sense to this at all. One could understand memories of the previous existence, but from death until reanimation, there would be no way to it to form memories. Hence, how did it know where its own grave was? Nevertheless, this can be used as an example of some kind of conscious activity, which even Madge Bellamy is able to exhibit towards the end of White Zombie. Here we have the start of the zombie in film.

Story II, The Plague-Demon, is where Romero’s critical claim to cannibalism is toppled. West and company are at it again, during an epidemic which kills Dean Halsey, of the now infamous Miskatonic University. Of course he is reanimated, and the result is his mindless murderous rampage (a rage reminiscent of the 28 Days Later “infected”), killing many people…and eating them. It’s mentioned ever-so briefly: “It had not left behind quite all that it had attacked, for sometimes it had been hungry.” This single line is so subtle it’s as if a meaningless side note—Lovecraft could never have known what an integral piece of the sub-genre this would come to be, let alone have any inkling that there would be an undead movement at all! Halsey’s zombie form is merely a ravaging automaton, killing instinctually, for seemingly no real reason, and only eating its victims when it felt like it—when it was hungry.

This is repeated in Story III, Six Shots by Moonlight. Here the revitalizing duo have brought back Buck Robinson, aka “The Harlem Smoke”, who was accidentally killed during an illegal boxing match. Of course, his corpse doesn’t respond soon enough and he’s discarded as a failure, and buried in a shallow grave. Later, an Italian family is missing a small boy and all hell breaks loose. Somewhat predictably, this third zombie edition shows up rattling at the back door, with the boys arm in its mouth, suggesting the fiend had feasted on him. He is, of course, shot six times by West. These last two tales have brought the zombie up quickly from White Zombie in 1932 to Romero’s Night of the Living Dead in 1968, which is quite a jump. The missing years are negligible though, considering how forgettable most zombie films were in between.

Stories VI and V take up where Night left off in the evolution of the zombie, just as Dawn of the Dead and then Day of the Dead did. The zombies are learning, or at least, they are exhibiting some specific signs of memory. In both cases, the first thing the newly undead creatures find themselves doing is screaming in reaction to something that happened the moment they died. Story VI, The Scream of the Dead, the zombie exclaims “Help! Keep off, you cursed little tow-head fiend – keep that damned needle away from me!” Of course, the tow-head fiend is West, and he’s been up to no good, much to the horror of his assistant. In Story V, The Horror from the Shadows, the reanimation victim, Major Sir Eric Moreland Clapham- Lee, was nearly decapitated (a job that was finished once West and friend got a hold of him) when his helicopter, piloted by Lieutenant Ronald Hill, crashes during the Great War—where our two doctors are serving; the closer to the action, the fresher the specimens (obviously inspirational to the opening scene of Bride of Re-Animator). Major Moreland Clapham-Lee’s body awakens from The Big Sleep, with it’s head on the other side of the room hollering “Jump, Ronald, for God’s sake, jump!” Next thing they know, a shell explodes near them, chaos, and what becomes of the Major’s body is not known...until the next and last installment of the series.

These last two stories, V & VI, clearly show some signs of progress being made with West’s experiments, as he’s able to access fresher samples with which to experiment on. Regarding the always lively debate in zombie film circles as to whether or not the brains of the zombies function at all, and whether or not they are capable of learning or emotion, these two Lovecraftian examples of the undead are comparable to the shopping mall zombies of Dawn, who retain enough of their past-life memories to return to the shopping structure to begin with, and also to Bub in Day, who demonstrates his own ability for recall in the memorable scene with Dr. Logan, as he explores the Walkman, the razor, the book, and then later, the gun. Bub also shows us the capability zombies have for emotion—the fondness for Dr. Logan, and the hatred for Captain Rhodes.

Finally, Story VI, The Tomb-Legions, brings us up to date, and quite rapidly. In it, Major Moreland Clapham-Lee has returned, as is collecting all of West’s past experiments that are available (it’s also not entirely clear if his small, but growing army of the undead is all a result of West, or if it’s somehow generating more undead on its own), including the cannibalistic Halsey from the second installment, in order to enact some kind of revenge. This, very obviously, takes a kind of reasoning skill that none of the undead has exhibited until this time. The leap in intelligence from Story V to Story VI is about as drastic as the jump in the same matter from Day of the Dead to Land of the Dead. In Day, Bub shows not just mere memory, but also small signs of active learning (and his affection for Dr. Logan), and in Land, Big Daddy leads an army of undead through various undertakings and maneuvers (and his resentment towards the living). Also, the undead Cholo character knows enough—almost immediately after reanimation—to dispatch of the Kaufman character in a most complicated way (that is, complicated by zombie standards). There is the acquisition and retention of knowledge and there is the want of retribution, as well as its execution.

Far from merely inspiring a well-known and generally well-loved modern zombie flick, ReAnimator—years before Romero came onto the scene to so dramatically change the sub-genre; even at least a decade before the zombie itself came into the public’s consciousness—Lovecraft managed to foresee, in six short and simple stories, the historical timeline of the popular zombie in film, from its beginning to the present state of things; from the somewhat directionless undead automaton to a thinking, planning, and ultimately vengeful thing of horror.

Zombie party tragically ended by shotgun-wielding idiot

2006-03-26T22:16:00.000+09:00

Thanks to Josh for finding this article, source unknown. Sorry. News items like this make the case for the second ammendment as an assurace of private security against real zombies all that much more hard to defend.

Seven Dead in Seattle Party Shooting

Saturday , March 25, 2006

SEATTLE — A gunman opened fire Saturday morning in a rental home occupied by about 20 young partygoers, killing four young men and two women and critically injuring at least one other person before committing suicide when confronted by police on the steps outside.
William Lowe, 59, who lives across the street, said he heard six shots fired shortly after his alarm went off at 7 a.m. He looked through the peephole of his door to see people scattering from the home.
Some of the guests had their faces painted and hair dyed for a "zombie party" held Friday night, Police Chief Gil Kerlikowske said.
One man staggered out and sat down, Lowe said, and a large man dressed in black — about 6-foot-1 and maybe 225 pounds — came out carrying a shotgun across his chest. When an officer standing in the street told him to put the weapon down, he put the barrel in his mouth and fired.
Officers found three dead in the living room, one at the front door and another on the porch steps. Three people were taken to Harborview Medical Center; one died, one was in extremely critical condition and the third was stable, the nursing supervisor said. Officers transported about a dozen witnesses to a precinct to interview them.
The victims were in their late teens and early 20s, police said. Officers said they were not yet aware of a possible motive.
"It's one of the largest crime scenes the city has ever had," Kerlikowske said.

Dozens of rounds were fired in the house, where people — ranging from their early and mid teens to mid-20s — gathered after a larger party called "Better Off Undead" in the Capitol Hill neighborhood. Some of the guests were "made up to look as if they were dead," the chief said.
He said the shooter, who had been invited to the party at the home, left the house about 7 a.m. and came back 10 minutes later heavily armed.
As the gunman walked the half block from his black Dodge pickup truck, he apparently spraypainted the word "NOW" in orange twice on the sidewalk and once on the steps of a neighbor's home, police said.
When he got to the house, he immediately opened fire before forcing his way inside. He shot two people outside, three in the living room and then went upstairs looking for more victims, Kerlikowske said.
Just before the shooting started, a 20-year-old Bellevue man told The Seattle Times, his 17-year-old girlfriend called him to an upstairs bathroom to talk while she applied makeup. Most everyone else in the house had been asleep about five hours, said the man, who was not identified.
"We heard gunshots and screaming and I opened the bathroom door and looked down the stairs and saw flashes from the gunshots. It was pretty intense," he said.
He locked the door and he and his girlfriend crouched in the bathtub.
"After all the gunshots, the shooter came upstairs and tried to open the door. He shot a round through the door and the bullet whizzed by my face," the man said.
The gunman then went back downstairs, he said.
"We thought we were going to die, plain and simple," said the young man, interviewed outside the downtown police station where he said he was among a group of about 30 partygoers questioned by police.

Kerlikowske said an officer in the neighborhood heard the shots and arrived to find one person staggering out of the house with a gunshot wound. The officer confronted the man with a shotgun but got no further than "Drop your ..." before the man turned the weapon on himself, the chief said.
The gunman also had a handgun, police said. Kerlikowske said the gunman mainly used the 12-gauge pistol-grip shotgun, "a weapon not designed for hunting purposes but for hunting people."
The gunman was wearing bandoliers of shells for the shotgun and carrying additional clips for the handgun. In his truck, police found an assault rife and multiple "banana clips" carrying 30 bullets each.
Police said they did not know if drugs or alcohol were a factor, though Kerlikowske said marijuana and alcohol were found in the house.
"This is a terrible tragedy for all of the victims and their families," said Mayor Greg Nickels in a statement.

"This kind of gun violence is extremely unusual for Seattle and this neighborhood," he added. "We don't know the exact reason, but we do know that it wasn't random."
Neighbor Cesar Clemente, 25, said he called 911 when he heard the shots. He looked outside to see people fleeing, and two people huddling in the bushes. He called for them. One, a man, made it to his front entryway, shot in the arm and the abdomen. The other collapsed in the bushes.
Clemente asked the man what happened. He said only, "I've been peppered." Medics quickly took him away, leaving behind a few shotgun pellets on the floor where he had been lying.
Lowe said people came and left the house at all hours, often with facial piercings and elaborate makeup.
"This was a destination point," he said.

Nancie Thorne told The Seattle Times that her 15-year-old daughter, Suzanne, was in the house when the man opened fire. She hadn't heard if her daughter survived.
The girl's boyfriend, Jesse Mullens, called Thorne earlier Saturday to say they had gone to the house following a "zombie rave" Friday night, Thorne said. They were about to leave — Mullens was waiting outside — when the gunman barged in.
Mullens told Thorne he heard a lot of gunshots. He thought Suzanne was stuck somewhere in the house with the shooter between her and the door.
"It's the worst phone call a mom can get," Thorne said, crying. "She shouldn't have gone to the rave. I've never approved of those things. ... I just hope to God she's alive. And if she is, she's grounded for life."
Hospital officials said the girl was not there.
Aaron Hoyle, 25, of Renton, said about five people in or near their 20s lived in the blue, two-story bungalow with white trim, and that some were promoters of warehouse parties. Hoyle hadn't been to the home in about three months, but came to see if his friends were OK when he heard about the shooting on the news.
The home, which according to King County property records is owned by a man named D. Gregg Doyle, is just a few blocks from Miller Community Center, where Little League baseball games were under way Saturday morning.

random zombie link

2006-03-25T23:28:00.000+09:00

This guy may be making a video game or something. Some interesting pixelated cartoons.

Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth

2006-03-20T01:41:00.000+09:00

Bethesda Softworks® announced today that the highly anticipated survival horror game, Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth™ for the PC will ship to North American stores the week of March 27th. Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth™, developed by Headfirst Productions, is based on the Call of Cthulhu® paper-and-pencil role-playing game, which is itself inspired by H.P. Lovecraft’s novels.

Eeek.

EEEK!

Click here for more info...

Trailer tuesday

2006-03-14T00:36:00.000+09:00

Here's a trailer for a silent call of Cthulhu adaptation coming out. Maybe it will be good; maybe it'll be cheesy. Time will tell.

Family cirus redubbed with mythos text

2006-03-09T09:59:00.000+09:00

Many more of these here.

Phreaky Photo Phriday: Cthulu month!

2006-03-03T23:53:00.000+09:00

That's right, folks, I'm using this FFF to announce this month's shambling theme is the Cthulu mythos. Get ready for a month of edritch content, as the Elder Ones conspire to take back the Earth.

Hellcat

2006-03-01T22:15:00.000+09:00

Okay, this is from the Attak of the Zombie Cats flikr. As an abashed cat lover, I love this.
Also along Cat lines...
Cyclopean kitty. This is not a photshop, this thing was actually born and lived for a short while.

And where there are cat's there's sure to be...
A good dog can be a valuable ally when the zombies come, unless it tends to bark a lot or otherwise attract attention. Get an unconspicuous dog.

One ugly pooch

2006-02-27T21:46:00.000+09:00

You may think this dog is some sort of muppet. I mean, he doesn't look like he could be real, right? But he is. This is Sam, the world's undisputed ugliest dog. He had a brief flash of fame, but was very old and alas, passed on. I won't speculate on how ugly an undead Sam could be.

Speaking of dogs, this could be a funny movie...

Gonna Jack your ride

2006-02-26T22:48:00.000+09:00

Hailing back to the brain slugs and parasites post of last month, I bring you The Wisdom of Parasites, a well researched article on yet another member of the animal kingdom capable of hijacking it's host. In this case, the wasp steers the roach by moving it's antaena. Cool stuff.

Freaky folio friday

2006-02-25T19:49:00.000+09:00

did I miss last Friday? Anways, this is from De Monstris.

Installing Linux on a dead badger

2006-02-20T20:55:00.000+09:00

This is the kind of link one would expect from Benny, had he ever taken it upon himself to post. In his stead, I give you Installing Linux on a Dead Badger: User's Notes.

Speaking of Badgers, I also bring you the zombie eqivilent of the badger song. Come to think of it, that is the kind of link Nerdygirl would enjoy. Where are my blog team members?

Also, Badgers 2 will eat your soul.

Also for valentines day...

2006-02-17T02:09:00.000+09:00

There is nothing sweeter, and more creepy, than the gift of a beating heart!

Wookie loving on valentines day

2006-02-15T20:52:00.000+09:00

The Wookie blog Brings us something truly touching today. Also, if you are wondering why this is on the zombie blog, let me point out Chewbacka has the same vocabulary of a zombie, more or less, especially in written form. Don't argue with me, or I'll rip off your arms. Also, it is animals month here.

Japanese monster anatomy

2006-02-14T00:15:00.000+09:00

From this show. Makes me almost wonder if Japanese post-modernism doesn't have some merits.

It's about time I mentioned the theme

2006-02-09T21:48:00.000+09:00

Back I say!
This month's shambling theme: zombie animals. Exploring the non-human variations of zombies. Mark's article is an excellent start on this subject.
Also, check out this trailer for a movie about a man-eating cow. The hands picture has nothing to do with anything except I liked it and, like the trailer, it came courtesy of twitchfilms (see links).

Zombies: Is there any geological evidence?

2006-02-07T06:18:00.000+09:00

Those who know me well know that I am a geologist as well as an avid reader of weird fiction. I enjoy both with the same passion and obsession, as I'm sure most will identify with, on some level at least.

So today I will explore the possibility of geologic zombie evidence. Yes, I know... you might be wondering if such earth-shattering (pun intended) evidence really exists and if so, why haven't other well-respected geologist (like myself) not published anything on the subject; those questions are both valid and sound, but I won't be answering either. Rather, I will proceed with much arm waving and geologic jargon in the hopes that a semi-logical conclusion may spill its way out of my mind.

As can be seen by the figure below, older things are below younger things in the rock record. This is called the law of superposition. (Note: that had nothing to do with zombies.... yet!) It's a nice figure though, isn't it?

Any geologic evidence to be found in the rock record would be in the form of a mass extinction and/or bioturbation. Mass extinctions and bioturbation can be found all over the rock record. One mass extinction that most people know about is the extinction of the dinosaurs. But that was nothing when compared to some of the other mass extinctions. These mass extinctions have numerous explanations, but zombies, I think, really explain it all.

As we know already, zombies, when they strike, come in mass numbers and kill/turn many of like species with them. So at such an event, we would be able to observe both massive amount of death as well as disturbed graves, in the form of bioturbation. Biotubation is usually found in marine sediments and is caused by burrowing critters that dig into a recently deposited sand/clay layers and then dig its way out. Zombies grave sites would have a similar dig-in/dig-out pattern in the geologic record.

So, my thought is that zombies could come from different species than just humans. Maybe the dinosaurs all died because of a gang of zombie T-Rex's,... think about it... they didn't have very big brains. And we all know how much zombies like brains.

Brachiopod zombie!!!

Or maybe the zombies of the past were brachiopods, or trilobites, trying to dominate the marine floor with their zombie powers of persuasion. At this rate, zombie species could have come from any corner of the Kingdom Animalia, and could explain many of the geologically puzzling mass extinctions of the past.

As far as more recent zombie events in the rock record we have a limited amount of data. But if we project the frequency of mass(zombie!!!) extinctions, we can clearly see that we are due for one.

The above evidence and arm waving, I feel, is a sufficient explanation of geo-zombies. But if any of you geologically-ignorant need some things explained to you, just leave a comment for me and I'll tell you what's up.

Stardust Capsule returns to earth. Zombie researchers sounding red alert.

2006-02-06T21:32:00.000+09:00

Editor's note: I did not actually write this. Adam did and it seemed approprate for here. I made minor swears edits, cause I'm drunk with power. I'll get to the theme next post.

Zombie researchers, a field of professionals whose opinions often differ wildly to the point of violence, today united in expressing their outrage and horror at the return to earth of NASA’s stardust capsule.

“This return to earth of the Stardust Capsule represents the most significant threat of a space based zombie pathogen breaking out in the wider human population that we’ve seen since the discovery channel used a robot crawler to open the mysterious inner chamber of the Great Pyramid in Egypt.”

No! Don't do it man!

This statement by Dr. Gag Zeltwurst was part of a press release put out just hours ago by the American chapter of Zombie Watch International, the group who also recently made headlines by stating that the recent outbreaks and spread of bird flu was merely a government cover up story to mask a horrific series of local level zombie outbreaks that started after French tourists defiled the temples at Angkor Wat and in other locations in east asia. The statement read out by Dr. Zeltwurst spelled out the danger in the clearest possible terms.

“For the good of human civilization, we desperately urge the scientists of NASA not to open the Stardust Capsule at any cost and for it to be buried in a sanctified led pressure chamber at sea over the Mariana’s trench.”

NASA scientists committing the unthinkable

The group fears that exposure to the elements of deep space could have allowed the aerogel sample package to pick up the dreaded ‘great space zombie pathogen’ or GSZP, a variant of the zombie virus so horribly communicative that even “the particulate remains of the recently cremated would begin to reanimate and become mobile, moving across the land like a dust storm, infecting all who inhale even the tiniest amount of the virus laden particulate matter”.

History would prove their jubilation misplaced

Further more, the group’s statement offers an even more dire prediction than a possible outbreak of GSZP. The statement reads thus, “If NASA scientists must open the sample return capsule then it is crucial to the survival of all life on earth that they are at least 47 miles away from any locations such as church buildings, synagogues, mosques, any place where significant numbers of dead are interred in any way or any other spiritual nexus point.”

Apparently according to Zombie Watch International research, an outbreak of GSZP near a so called ‘spiritual nexus point’ may concentrate so much evil in one spot that it could possibly open the long foretold of ‘gateway to hell’, a scenario whereby the unholy legions of the dammed are able to pass over into our world to inflict their deepest torments on the flesh of living man himself.

File photo of Demonic Invader

“The consequent demon invasion would threaten not just the United States, or the broader world economy, it would potentially be the end of human civilization.” When asked what preparations they were taking in the light of these potentially world shaking events, Dr. Zeltwurst commented that the group was “amassing arms, ammunition, body armor, heavy trucks, church equipment, priests, imams, monks, fuel, fresh water and canned food supplies. We are also beginning to train an elite, multi faith Paladin Warrior Combat Squad in the event of any demonic invasion that may occur if a GSZP outbreak occurs to close to a spiritual nexus point.”

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him.

My disection weren't no thang

2006-02-05T15:41:00.000+09:00

Sorry today's freaky photo is shy of an actual Friday, but Blogger went down. Today's pic comes from Dream Anatomy, which features the ridiculously glib work of a few artists that tried to take autopsy illustration to a fantastic, less clinical level.
Next post I will announce this month's shambling theme.

The Zombie and his Soul

2006-01-30T22:30:00.000+09:00

Since I am (I assume) the only religion scholar currently contributing to this blog, I feel that it is time for me to speak on the religious aspects of the undead. (I know you are all expecting an edged weapons post from me, but in keeping with this month's theme, I have opted for something more philosophical - deal with it.)

This is a very muddy topic from a theological perspective. For the sake of simplicity we will be talking about the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam), and we will be handling doctrine in only the broadest sense - so don't post a bunch of comments that point out the dozens of exceptions to the sweeping generalizations I'll be making. We all know there are about a million different sects with about a billion different viewpoints; I am just trying to hit the high spots.

There are several questions that spring to mind immediately:
1) Do zombies have souls?
2) Is it ok to kill them?
3) Where do their souls go?

On first blush, it is tempting to answer these questions with, "No, yes, and who cares?" but I realize that many of our readers will find that unsatisfactory, so here are my considered answers.

1) I am tempted to say no, because transition to the zombie state is generally preceded by death. At the time of death, the soul is believed to leave the body, and so any subsequent action of the body would be in a soul-less state. This, however, overlooks the recovered zombie - the zombie who is freed from his curse and returns to normal upon some external event. An excellent example would be the South Park zombies - upon the death of the main zombie, the other zombies (those not cut into chunks earlier in the episode) were returned to normal. To propose that their souls were temporarily absent and then returned to them seems to fly in the face of what is accepted about the soul, as well as posing difficult questions about where the soul was during this time; concepts like limbo or purgatory are just too crazy to speculate about.

These zombie-like species which aren't actually dead really do pose a problem. The zombies Clay mentions here are a good example; another would be the Reavers in the Serenity 'verse. None of these creatures is actually dead per se, so presumably they still have souls. It's easiest to view this sort of zombie-ism as being similar to a form of insanity. The soul is still there, but the person is not fully in control of their actions, and thus not fully responsible for any "sins" they might commit while in the zombie state.

So the short answer to this question is "it depends." Knowing the genesis of a zombie is necessary in order to decide if it has a soul.

2) If the zombie is, in fact, a mindless, soulless, brain muncher, then I don't think there is any theological problem in destroying them. Their souls have already departed and met their fate, while the killers are not guilty of killing a human being per se, and thus, not sinning in the traditional sense.

If, however, the zombie in question is one of the ones mentioned above who may still have a soul, the waters get significantly murkier. The killer of this type of zombie would be facing a different theological situation. Since the zombie has a soul, this would technically violate the "no killing" rule found in most versions of the "Faiths of the Book". The exception would be in cases of self-defense or defense of the helpless, and of course, most zombie slayings are exactly that, so it's not likely to pose a problem for the faithful unless they begin to really enjoy the killing. Those who seek out opportunities to kill zombies would, I believe, be sinning in some way - if the killing is sought out for the sake of excitement or pleasure, you can hardly say that it is self-defense. I can envision a scenario where one might decide that the only sensible defense is to mount an offensive against a horde of zombies in order to "get them before they get us", but as we have seen on the international stage in recent days, this can be very sketchy, ethically speaking. Zombies generally have no weapons of mass destruction or major oil reserves...

The short answer here is "yes, as long as it's truly in self defense."

3) For the most part, the Abrahamic faiths hold that a person is judged for the sins they commit willfully - the insane, small children, and those who are forced to commit sins by way of torture or some other method of coercion are not held responsible for their actions. Without getting into Christian debates regarding the "once saved, always saved" doctrine, I think this means that if a zombie with a soul is killed, then he would have to be judged according to the state of his soul prior to zombification. If instead he is subsequently cured of the zombie curse he would, in effect, have a blank spot in his soul's history - the time during which he was a zombie would not be taken into account in his final reckoning.

The short answer for this question is "their souls go where they would have gone anyway." One is held responsible for all sins committed unless those sins are committed when one is not in control of one's actions.

I hope this sets your mind at ease when the killing commences. Your neighbors or loved ones who become zombies are not doomed to hell just because they ate some brains, and you are not doomed to hell for blowing them away in self-defense.

I welcome continued discussion on this topic - comment away.

Think about it!

2006-01-30T19:24:00.000+09:00

Grooooup huuuug...Maybe we should just give the undead buggers a break.
After all, they might make good friends. This article discusses zombie's positive role in this world, including utilizing the never-ending energy that Kit mentioned before (which fits into this month's shambling theme nicely).

Freaky Photo Friday

2006-01-28T12:26:00.000+09:00

I can't believe I ate the whole baby.

"I would expect you to kill me, mom. You don't take chances with the undead. Duh."

2006-01-28T01:01:00.000+09:00

How does one approach the diffucult subject of zombie bites? Imagine, if you will: It's day 13 of the zombie pandemic. In a desperate bid to get sustenance, your group made a trip to the grocery store for supplies. You all probably made it back, except for the jerk if you had one (the jerk always dies). But, inevitably, someone got bit. You immediately took revenge on their behalf and seperated the zombie's brainpan from it's skull, but still, your friend was bitten. You know it's only a matter of time before they turn. What do you do? Do you say, sorry and shoot them right there? Do you take them back to the hideout and wait till they turn to kill them? Or do you do something else?

Now consider the situation from the perspective of the bitten person. One of the few parts of Land of the Dead that I liked was when one of the characters was bitten and decided to "see how the other side lives." My personal choice as a biten person would be to take out a bunch of zombies with me in a terrific explosion and afford my companions an otherwise impossible escape.

As usual I have a link: I found this heart-warming story about an obsesive two year old that posed the question to his mom. She said she'd wait until he was an undead monster to dispatch him. His response: "I would expect you to kill me, mom. You don't take chances with the undead. Duh."

What would you do?
Next time: Freak Photo Friday!

powder, parasites, and prions

2006-01-24T03:37:00.000+09:00

Turns out there's lots of different potential causes of zombies in the real world. One of the causes that intrigues me the most is prions. For those of you not in the know, prions are protiens that convince other protiens to fold like themselves, in a rather viral form of replication. Get enough of these built up in your brain and you'll have mad cow disease. Cooking the meat doesn't get rid of the protiens.
Anways, the rather tounge-in-cheek article "The Etiologi of Romero-Fuluci disease: The Case for Prions" goes into great depths on the subject, and also explores Solonium, which you may recall was created by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks) in The Zombie Survival Guide.
Now, a question to my non-existent audience: Does anybody know the name of the fictional science journal (fictional in that all of it's articles are jokes)? And is it online?

I, for one, welcome our new Nazi zombie overlords

2006-01-20T15:51:00.000+09:00

Twitch films finds all the good stuff. Read about a new sci-fi, Nazi zombie film in the works here. Watch the previews, they're so... hellboyish in that pulp-fictiony sort of way.
Plus this movie's production team has a very special offer, join the cast, be a zombie! Read about how to at their site.
Update: Oh yes.
Silent Hill the Movie now has a decent trailer. And there is even some original music from the first game playing at the end. Looks good. Real good.

and
Check out Frostbitten, a vampire movie coming to a lower-German speaking theater near you soon.

Brain slugs

2006-01-18T21:34:00.000+09:00

This article at the New Scientist website introduces an interesting concept: worms and other parasites that can get into one's brain and make them do crazy things. This essentially means that zombies do exist in nature, albeit not necessarily undead ones. In the article, it is explained that a certain worm takes control of grasshopper's brains, forcing them to jump into water where they most likely will drown. Then the worm grows and bursts out.
The ramifications are spooky. Check out the links within the article too for some other nasty parasites that control their host.

This served to remind me of Night of the Creeps, an 80s zombie flick with a twist: brain slugs. They get in your mouth, and you're a goner. They even resurrect you if you are dead. If you can, try to get the version of the film with the alternate director's ending. Golden stuff.
Now word is out on the net about the fresh gorefest Slither , which is a new entry into the brainslug/zombie genre. Let this serve as a cautionary note: DO NOT SEE SLITHER. Let me back up my credentials as a person in a position to tell you that. Rewind back a few years to a scene in a movie theater lobby. The movie poster for Van Helsing was up, and in many ways it looked cool. But I knew better. Kit (Cantwell of this blog) came up and said, "Looks sweet huh!"
I replied, in a moment of bad-movie clairvoyance, "I could [expletive deleted] a better movie."
Kit: "Really?"
Later Kit confirmed my suspicions. I myself unfortunately did end up seeing a large portion of Van Helsing as well, when my drunken room mates rented it. And I was right. I'm telling you now, it doesn't matter that one of the big guys from the Dawn of the Dead remake was involved; it doesn't even matter that it looks like a zombie movie (in the sense that people become flesh-eating, brainless monsters). It's going to be bad. Believe me when I say that. And not bad in a good, Night of the Creeps way. No, bad in Van Helsing way. You've been warned.

Zombies as social commentary

2006-01-14T19:22:00.000+09:00

Okay, so remember last post where I said I'd look into the alternative possibility for zombie movie themes? Well, I found what I was looking for, as well as another great tie into the this month's theme.

The Silenced Majority: Colonization of the Mind and the Flesh Eating Zombie is a well thought out essay that explores zombie films as a reflection of society. He starts with the zombie films of yesteryear, which often focused on the voodoo zombies I mentioned last post, then he goes into what the Night of the Living Dead trilogy means, and it's place in social reform.

Do you think books or movies ever cause social upheaval? Do you think the trilogy (now a quadrilogy) inspires the masses, or is it just another Hollywood vehicle to keep the crowds in a somnolent trance? Read the article and tell us what you think.

Great Moments in Science

2006-01-13T00:22:00.000+09:00

So, if you're any sort of zombie buff, you probably know that zombies originated in the Caribbean region, where a special type of voodoo (or is it Houdin these days? I forget), was used to create them. But these zombies are not created by spiritual means at all (unless we're talking a Fulci movie). No, there is a little known formula that witch doctors use to enslave the living in a death-like thrall.

Karl at Great Moments in Science has tracked down the formula for one and all to see, and he describes it's chemical properties.

Now this is a different kind of zombie movie waiting to happen: a person is in danger, not from zombies themselves, but rather from being turned into one! Actually, that concept may have been done waaaay back when; I'll have to do some more research.

--
Btw, party people, google lists this site as the number one site for the search term "zombie blog." Now if only people actually used that search term, we'd be a hit.

Herbert West -- Reanimator

2006-01-09T09:30:00.000+09:00

Where would you go, if you wanted to study how to raise the recently deceased? Personally, I would choose Miskatonic University Medical School in Arkham, Mass. ... DUH!!! But don't trust anything that that old Dr. Halsey has you doing up there in the laboratories and classrooms. To get real results you will have to take your research out into the field. Make sure to steal plenty of necessary chemicals and supplies and don't tell anyone about what you are doing, except for, of course, your trusted friend who will tell the world of your adventures via a fictional letter/story (actually written by H.P. Lovecraft).

"Herbert West -- Reanimator" is a short story by the likes of H.P. Lovecraft, a weird fiction writer of the early 1900's. He lived in Providence, RI and died at the ripe old age of 45 in 1937. Herbert West is a story about a medical student obsessed with being cheating death, by reviving the recently deceased via chemicals and tinctures that he himself derived from his studies and injecting them directing into the corpse to provide the proper results. And like most Lovecraftian works, the subject of the story becomes more than just obsessed about his craft, his life's work, he is drven by his discoveries and one "success" turns into more and more invasive procedures. (no need to spoil too much of the story)

Of Lovecraft's works, Herbert West -- Reanimator is the most "zombie-esque". In other works the dead certainly do walk the earth in one way or another, but with Herbert West the living-dead come together into a vengeful legion to destroy their creator, and who knows what else. There was also a movies made in the mid-eighties called "Reanimator". I've never scene it, but His Sinfulness I'm sure has some comments to post about it.

If you have never read this short story or any Lovecraft, I highly recommend it. It involves much of the macabre and the typical youth to madness bent that Lovecraft is famous for, and... I like it... if that matters to any of you.

Well, that's it for my first post. See ya on the flip side.

video games/movies crossovers

2006-01-06T22:50:00.000+09:00

Click to zoom. Ripped from somethingawful (all silent hill parodies)

cryptozoology

2006-01-05T20:54:00.000+09:00

The following is just frickin cool. I heard that they stabilized the Kenedy Assasination tape too. So, what do you think? Is this a guy in a suit?
Now, if you don't know the importance of cryptoozoology (wiki) to zombie hunting, then you've obviously never been bitten by a summatran rat monkey (wiki). Besides, cryptozoology is a psuedoscience, and it is science and philosophy month on zombie blog.

A letter from the editor: the zombie year in review

2006-01-01T20:28:00.000+09:00

Hello, fellow survivors! I hope this Christmas finds you in a tank or other zombie-proof vehicle, with plenty of rations. Zombie survival month ends now (though there is no iron-clad rule stating we won't bring you more news on that subject--in fact His Sinfulness promised us more weapons coverage) we may return to that subject in coming months, and the new shambling theme for a new month is... drumroll please... Science and philosophy. Now, I could give my fellow contributors some kind of method to systematically test ideas and decide which subjects to write about, and even a way to determine if their hypotheses, if you will, are applicable to this month's subject, but... what's the point of it all?
Hoping that joke wasn't too abstract. Any ideas for future themes from the moaning masses?

2005 brought us lots of great zombie action. To recap the highlights, I've compiled the following list. The year started off kind of slow, but there were good feelings being generated by 2004's Shawn of the Dead. Overall, I think we are entering a true zombie renaissance.

March: The bill of rights took a blow, and so did zombie fans in general, when a high school student was arrested for writing a zombie story. There are conflicting reports about whether or not the boy stuck to his "it's just a story" defense. One things for sure, America be screwed up.

March 19th: George A. Romero returns to zombie films with Land of the Dead, continuing his highly influential series.

April: Shooting for the Silent Hill movie begins. It finishes in July. Kit and Clay rejoice.

April 1: A BBC story about a zombie-like plague is realeased (note the date).

June: Scientists break the laws of nature and make re-animated zombie dogs. Luckily, as they are dogs, they keep the terrible secrets of the afterlife to themselves.

July: The MMORPG Urban Dead goes online. Hey, anyone up for making a group? I have yet to play this one.

October 19th: Pittsburgh is declared unsafe in the event of a zombie infestation. Unfortunately, they have to wait for November for us to cover zombie survival.

October 23rd: Toronto Zombie Walk happens. I'll blog more about zombie walks later.

November 3rd: The zombie blog is started. The population rejoices. Several miracles happen, including a mother giving birth to a litter of really cute puppies, and L. Ron Hubbard rising from the grave to have a frank discussion with Tom Cruise.

December 16th: The Zombie-Santa walk happens. You better watch out...

My predictions for 2006: First, the 2nd ammendment will be in serious danger, and spears will become the home security device of choice.
And second, people will have a lot of cleaning up to do after their newyears parties, especially if they sport lawnmower vests (funny, yet gory, consider yourself warned).

Edged Weapons I

2005-12-29T14:09:00.000+09:00

In my last tactical post, I promised to speak on edged weapons. I thought about giving an exhaustive overview of knives, swords, spears, and other slicey/pokey things until it occurred to me that such a list, fun as it would be to make it, would be of very limited utility to our readers. For the most part, edged weapons require a fair amount of training. As the kids in Flock Hall can vouch, fighting successfully with even something as simple as a 16" dagger takes footwork, timing, and practice, practice, practice. All of these are commodities that will likely be in short supply when the dead rise, so I have decided to limit this discussion to the two edged weapons which are simplest to use, and most useful overall - the spear and the camp knife. We will cover the spear first.

The Spear
The spear is much like the game of chess; it takes an afternoon to learn the basic moves, but a lifetime to master. I selected it for our purposes because it is the simplest of the major edged weapons to use reasonably well, and the least likely to injure the inexperienced (you'd be surprised how easy it is to smack yourself in the shins with an axe or sword). Anyone with two hands and ordinary mobility can deal out lethal blows, and the long shaft affords the wielder a lot of room for error and second chances.

For our purposes, a spear shall be defined as a long stick (at least 4 feet) with a pointed tip. The non-weapon usefulness of such an implement should be readily apparent to horror movie watchers. How many times would the folks in horror movies survive longer if they just had a handy stick with which to poke and prod things? Don't stick you head up (or down) into that dark attic (or cellar) - use your spear. Don't push the door open with your hand - use your spear. Don't try the rickety stairs with your body weight - use your spear. Don't roll the monster over by hand to see if it's dead - use your friggin' spear!

If you have your doubts about the effectiveness of the spear against the undead, I would point you to John Carpenter's Vampires. Those guys were tearing up the suckheads with spears - until the big daddy vampire arrived. If it can work that well against intelligent, free-willed blood monkeys, it should be more than capable against the shambling idiots we will be facing.

The principle attack mode of the spear is thrusting, but many also incorporate edges sharp enough for slashing. Some spears (more appropriately called javelins) are balanced for throwing as well, but I do not advocate the throwing away of a perfectly good weapon, so you needn't worry about balance much. The spear can be used as a solo weapon, but it is usually best employed in teams - 1 guy with a spear, and from 1 to 3 or 4 with mass weapons. Don't go solo - you may feel that your teammates are a liability, but they will prove important when the action gets thick. At the very least, it gives the dead guys someone else to chomp on...

The spear may be improvised quite easily - any sturdy rake handle can be broken off and sharpened (using your camp knife) to a dangerous point. Although numerous replica spears can obtained on the internet, most are designed to be wall-hangers. Very few combine a quality shaft with a sharp, stiff head to make them worth their inflated prices. If you feel the urge to purchase one, take a look at the Cold Steel Boar Spear. It's not much to look at, but it's got a tempered head with crossguards to keep the impaled ravening undead from running up the ash shaft at you, and it's relatively cheap.

The best thing about a spear in combat is reach. With even a small spear, you should be able to stick any on-rushing brain muncher before he can come close to grabbing you. It does take a bit of training, but medieval armies used to go to battle with peasant pike levies that had no formal fighting training at all - they taught them how to march and how to hold a pike, but not how to fight with it. Just think of it; by reading this brief article, you will already be better trained than the brave men of William Wallace's schiltron! "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our BRAINS!"

Assume a basic fighting stance. (If you don't have a basic fighting stance, concentrate on making friends who do.) Place your rear hand, palm down, on the butt of the shaft, and support the rest of the spear in your forward hand, palm up. (If you do not understand "rear hand" and "forward hand" in this context, you do not, in fact, have a fighting stance. See above.) Employ the spear with a pool cue type motion, allowing it to slide smoothly on your forward hand as you thrust. Aim for the torso - anywhere in the rib area will do.

A lot of people miss completely when they try to use a spear for the first time. It is not as easy as it sounds; the rear hand has a tendency to push the tip off line as it comes forward. The trick that fixes this, is the touch and thrust. As the target approaches, reach out with both hands and touch his chest with the tip of the spear. Once you have made contact, just push it in with the rear hand. I know it sounds crazy, but this deceptively easy technique has worked on battlefields since the hoplites fought for their city states, and it continues to work even now on historical recreation battlefields every weekend. Once you master it, you can back off and try thrusts from greater and greater ranges, until you can thrust accurately with full extension.

Obviously, a poke in the torso will not end your opponent's unlife, but here is where the spear's other great advantage - leverage - comes into play. By lodging your spear in the deathpuppet's guts, you have effectively attached a long handle to his fragrant carcass. Using this new-found mechanical advantage, you should have little trouble pushing/pulling/tripping him to the ground. Once he is down you have many options, including flight, using a shorter weapon to finish him off, or holding him down while your teammates club him in the head (see, I told you they were important).

If you are alone or facing just one zombie, you can use my personal favorite, the heroic coup de grace. This last bit is risky (but very cool) and should only be attempted when imminent danger of further attack is minimal. Place your foot on the rotter's neck to hold him down, and wrench your spear free. Hold the tip just over his face and deliver a tough guy line - something like, "Let me help you see my point..." - then ram the spear into his brain through an eye socket. That's just beautiful, man.

In my next post, we will examine the humble camp knife, and why it should be in every zombie survival kit. Until then, sharpen up your broom handles!

What's Your Role?

2005-12-15T06:28:00.000+09:00

I usually hate quizzes, but this is relevant. Things might go better for us if we sort out our roles now...

"It's my way or it's the highway!"
You are THE LEADER.
The current situation has brought out the best in
you, bringing your intelligence and decisive
nature to the fore. When others are losing
their heads you're using yours, organising and
planning and trying to restore order to this
insane world. Without you, any group is just a
collection of individuals with no unity or
direction. Typical skills: Organisation, authority, tactics. In your free time you: Inspect defences and
equipment. Chances of survival: High (others will lay down their lives for you) Secondary class: THE DEN MOTHER
After The Zombie Apocalypse, Which Role Will You Fit Into? (11 possible results!)
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