Sunday, January 01, 2006

A letter from the editor: the zombie year in review

Hello, fellow survivors! I hope this Christmas finds you in a tank or other zombie-proof vehicle, with plenty of rations. Zombie survival month ends now (though there is no iron-clad rule stating we won't bring you more news on that subject--in fact His Sinfulness promised us more weapons coverage) we may return to that subject in coming months, and the new shambling theme for a new month is... drumroll please... Science and philosophy. Now, I could give my fellow contributors some kind of method to systematically test ideas and decide which subjects to write about, and even a way to determine if their hypotheses, if you will, are applicable to this month's subject, but... what's the point of it all?
Hoping that joke wasn't too abstract. Any ideas for future themes from the moaning masses?

2005 brought us lots of great zombie action. To recap the highlights, I've compiled the following list. The year started off kind of slow, but there were good feelings being generated by 2004's Shawn of the Dead. Overall, I think we are entering a true zombie renaissance.

March: The bill of rights took a blow, and so did zombie fans in general, when a high school student was arrested for writing a zombie story. There are conflicting reports about whether or not the boy stuck to his "it's just a story" defense. One things for sure, America be screwed up.

March 19th: George A. Romero returns to zombie films with Land of the Dead, continuing his highly influential series.

April: Shooting for the Silent Hill movie begins. It finishes in July. Kit and Clay rejoice.

April 1: A BBC story about a zombie-like plague is realeased (note the date).

June: Scientists break the laws of nature and make re-animated zombie dogs. Luckily, as they are dogs, they keep the terrible secrets of the afterlife to themselves.

July: The MMORPG Urban Dead goes online. Hey, anyone up for making a group? I have yet to play this one.

October 19th: Pittsburgh is declared unsafe in the event of a zombie infestation. Unfortunately, they have to wait for November for us to cover zombie survival.

October 23rd: Toronto Zombie Walk happens. I'll blog more about zombie walks later.

November 3rd: The zombie blog is started. The population rejoices. Several miracles happen, including a mother giving birth to a litter of really cute puppies, and L. Ron Hubbard rising from the grave to have a frank discussion with Tom Cruise.

December 16th: The Zombie-Santa walk happens. You better watch out...

My predictions for 2006: First, the 2nd ammendment will be in serious danger, and spears will become the home security device of choice.
And second, people will have a lot of cleaning up to do after their newyears parties, especially if they sport lawnmower vests (funny, yet gory, consider yourself warned).